Monday, January 4, 2016

Day One: "If American men are obsessed with money, American women are obsessed with weight. The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss, and I do not know which talk is the more boring." - Marya Mannes

I am 31 years old. I was born a female, and still am.

I wrote down that I was 156cm tall when I passed my drivers license test, so I guess I'm about that. Most people are taller than me, including children, but whatever. At the moment my stomach alarmingly resembles a short stack of pancakes on the outside, giving off an unforgiving allure of dad-bod androgyny.

As of day one of an eight week challenge, I weigh 55.9kg, which Google tells me is medically considered a healthy weight to my flesh and bones. I've got some junk in the trunk, but it's anatomically arranged in less of a curve and more of an overall smattering. If I can figure out my body fat percentage I will, just to be aware of the mathematical science behind a life of beer and biscuit binge eating.

So here I am, saying hello to the internets and offering up some discussion about this challenge. Along the way I might find some answers to questions that I'm asking myself such as "Why bother, you love ALL the food?" and "Why even think about your body when you could be thinking about gravitational influence, or vibrational chemical bonds, or the merits of intersectional feminism?" but I can't guarantee anything.

All I know is, when it comes to my body, nothing is that clear to me. I'm not sure what's going on between how I look on the outside to you, versus how I look on the outside to me, versus how I feel on the inside. I'm interested in how being a woman influences this, and what other cultures think about notions such as fat and skinny in relation to strength. If I'm being honest with you, dear reader, I can't remember ever being happy with how I look, so I feel now is a good a time as any to explore these feelings.

So, what is even up?

No refined sugar. No booze. I'm cutting out coffee because I'm a sadist. Lots of healthy stuff, no bad stuff. You get the drill. Plenty of exercise like crossfit, martial arts, a little bit of running and a few swims. I want to know that I can do this, to explore my physicality and understand why the fuck this seems like such a challenge.

I'm keeping this little diary with the stuff that I eat and the exercise that I do. I thought it would be kinda cool to add how I was feeling in my brain, because I'm old enough to understand that if my head isn't in it, I sure as hell won't get shoulders like Emily Blunt in Edge of Tomorrow.

And here I am. I'll leave you with this.
Keep it real.  

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